DEARLY BELOVED....

June is Youth Month, so I'm sending my best to all the millennials out there (and the millennials at heart). It's also the month with the shortest day of the year, so when it's over we can start counting down to spring. But here's something I didn't know until my pal Wikipedia told me: June is named after Juno, the Roman goddess of marriage.
 
When I got to thinking about it, there are some mighty interesting things that married couples do with their glasses. So this column is especially for them. And like I always say, I'm just an old pair of glasses so what do I know? But here I go anyway...
 
We've all been in restaurants, and we've all seen this couple. Two people, one pair of glasses. You know who I'm talking about. He puts on the glasses and reads the menu. Then she puts on the glasses and reads the menu. Then he takes the glasses again because he's changed his mind. And just when they're ready to order, the waiter arrives with the specials board and it starts all over again.
 
On another note, it seems a spouse poses the biggest potential threat to a pair of glasses. How many people have had their glasses lost, broken or sat on by their significant other? Spouses have this knack of inadvertently causing harm to one another's glasses. It's true... the way I see it, getting married is the single biggest danger to glasses and sunglasses the world over.
 
Of course, glasses always feature in the classic married couple line. You know, the one called "Have You Seen My...?" The end of that sentence could be car keys/wallet/Filofax etc. But glasses are undoubtedly the most common object in that refrain. A person has trouble finding lost glasses because he/she can't see, because he/she isn't wearing said glasses. Then again, a spouse won't be much help because he/she can't see either. Why? Because as mentioned above, they share a single pair of glasses. So it's less a case of losing "my" glasses and more a case of losing "the" glasses. One pair gets lost and nobody can see.
 
Then there's the old joke about the couple who've been together for so long because of the way he looks and the way she sees. But no one tells that one like my grandfather did. So I won't even try.
 
Anyways, happy June month everybody. And here's to your beloved... for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, and sharing glasses in restaurants.