The teenager lost a contact lens while playing soccer in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he went inside and told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside, and in a few minutes, she returned with the lens in her hand. “How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked. “We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied. “You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for R1,000.” Progressive Lenses A man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?" "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" "Oh! How nice it would be," said the patient with joy, "I have been illiterate for so long."

Around the year 1752, eyeglass designer James Ayscough introduced his spectacles with double-hinged side pieces. The lenses were made of tinted glass as well as clear. Ayscough felt that white glass created an offensive glaring light that was bad for the eyes. He advised the use of green and blue glasses. Although Ayscough glasses were the first tinted eyeglasses, they were not made to shield the eyes from the sun. They corrected vision problems. It wasn’t until 1929 when a young innovator, Sam Foster, convinced the Woolworth's store on the Atlantic City Boardwalk to sell his new brand of sunglasses - FosterGrant. They became an instant sensation in the 1930's when worn by the era's most popular movie stars. We all have Sam Foster to thank for making something like eye protection from UVA and UVB rays look so cool and hip!

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?" "Yes," said Sam, "I plainly saw him take the goods." The lawyer asked again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?" "Yes," said Sam, "I saw him do it." Then the lawyer asked, "Sam, listen: you are 80 years old and your eyesight probably is not so good. Just how far can you see at night?" Sam replied, "Well, I can see the moon -- how far is that?"

Pete had lived a long life, which was drawing to its end. As his family surrounded him on his deathbed, he asked to see his optometrist. "Optometrist?" they asked. "Why in the world do you want to see your optometrist?" "Just get him for me." So they go get Dr. Kaplan, who, on seeing Pete about to depart this life, asked, "Pete, it pains me to see you like this. What can I possibly do for you?" Pete opened his eyes slightly and said, "Doc, before I go, there's one thing I have to know. Which one was clearer - One or Two?"

Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn't see where it went." His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try." "That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help." "He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect." So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?" "Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight". "Where did it go?" says Arthur. "I don't remember."